In this post on Hoopla today, Lisa Linton shared her experiences in being a married woman who has retained her maiden name. As someone who has done the same (for many of the usual reasons mentioned in her article), it was bound to get my attention. But it was the comment that "that (there) is this unspoken pressure (whether we put it on ourselves or not) that prompts 90 percent of marrying women to change their name to their husband’s..." Linton reckons that "while we strive for equality in the workplace and kitchen, it seems the last thing to change is this archaic tradition." Read More
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Support National Adoption Awareness Week -
Friday, November 11, 2011
This week is National Adoption Awareness Week (NAAW) and I must send a huuuuuuge thank you to Karen James at Women in Focus for inviting me to fundraising breakfast for NAAW yesterday... Not just any breakfast, of course, but I had the chance to share a table and breakfast with Deborrah-Lee Furness. Deborrah-lee is the founder and Patron of National Adoption Awareness Week (oh, and of course she's also the wife of Hugh Jackman!) and shared her views why adoption needs an overhaul. Read More
The Superwoman Myth – and why it applies just as much to men as to women
Monday, October 31, 2011
“It seems that "having it all" - or, if you prefer, "doing it all" - is no longer a question of "can she?" or "can't she?". It is a fact of life”, says Rachel Hills in her weekend article in Sunday Life on The Superwoman Myth. Hot on the heels of Sarah-Jessica Parker’s new movie I Don’t Know How She Does It, Rachel allowed me to weigh in on the debate: do women want it all? My response? Read More
Bringing men on the journey towards gender balance – 4 signs of hope!
Friday, October 21, 2011
I’ve long been pondering this question… and I’ve long observed that the only progress more glacial than the advancement of women into leadership roles is the journey of men towards enlightenment. However I've observed four things over the past fortnight that give me some hope that perhaps we're right on the cusp of some significant change: Read More
“Mother guilt” at work… why I loath this term and why it’s time to do away with it!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
It could be just my interpretation, but I loath the term “mother guilt”. It seems to me that labels like this do nothing to support the self-confidence of mothers – and it’s certainly not a draw card for career-minded women deciding whether and when to embark on parenting. Read More
More stats about Men: Dads spend 25 per cent more family time when there's a son
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I remember my excitement during my pregnancy when I discovered I was having a son (and amazement, quite frankly, being from a family of 4 daughters and no sons!!!) My thinking was that with a son, my dear husband would be more likely to spend time with our new family member... and it seems there's now research to back up my hunch! Read More
Why the Government is wrong to reduce the childcare rebate – and why it will mean fewer women in senior roles
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
I’m deeply concerned about by the government’s announcement that the childcare rebate is to be reduced (yes – you read right: reduced!). As you’ll be aware, I recently co-founded the Make Care Fair lobby aimed at increasing childcare support and flexibility for Australian families… and yet the government has just announced plans to cut the childcare rebate back to $7,500 per child per year, from the current $8,179 per child. This is going to have an impact on tens of thousands of Australian families with children in paid care and their employers. One in four parents of kids in childcare already go back to work for no net financial gain; reducing the childcare rebate will make this worse, reduce the number of women in the leadership pipeline as even more women drop out of the paid workforce, and of course fewer women in senior roles. Read More
2-for-1 offer - Save time and money AND give the perfect gift with The Art of Gift Giving!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
We’ve all received gifts that just weren’t right, and possibly given some too! Get more for your gift dollars and avoid those ‘Oh, you shouldn’t have!?’ moments with the help of The Art of Gift Giving. Read More
I don't know how she does it... No seriously, I don't!
Thursday, June 09, 2011
After my son was born my M.I.L. (who's career like mine was in the finance industry) gave me a copy of this book with "must read!" instructions. After one-and-a-half chapters I was depressed! Now I guess you know it's actually a best selling comedy, but it hit a few too many raw nerves for me and was relegated to the back of the bookshelf never to be seen again... until news broke that it's been made into a movie with SJP as the lead character (for those who have read the book - the location has been changed from London to the USA)... Read More
Childcare is not a welfare issue – it’s a workforce participation issue and it's why workforce participation by Australian women is amongst lowest of OECD countries
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Do you screen your phone calls? I do… quite often, in fact. I do it because I need to be in the right space to be in contact with the outside world, and so if I’m overly frazzled I let the voicemail take control. This is especially the case when a certain 2-year-old has been on a flu-induced no-sleep campaign that has sent me into a mania of equal or greater proportion to his (BTW for anyone else feeling my pain – check out this e-book that’s guaranteed to make you laugh out loud for perhaps the first time this week – well it did for me anyway, which probably explains why I'll never win the "Mother of the Year" award! And thanks to Kate for sending it through – the best therapy that money can’t buy!!)
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Comments
- it was just not the done thing and it seemed unromantic to not change my name. I used to enjoy practicing writing my new name before our wedding day! (hey, the Princess Diana style of romantic wedding was still in vogue back then). Well, seven years later
the divorce was finalised but although it didn't work out, my first husband was (and is) a fantastic man, a really beautiful person. We had many happy times, we shared many years together - I have always felt that these memories and what he brought to my life
were and continue to be worth honouring many years on. So I kept my married name. Although a secondary reason at that time, I was also busy growing my career and it was too much hassle to change it. Along came husband number 2 - this time I was 35 years old
and life was even more complicated still. It was simply too much hassle to change my surname again, and my first married name of Wiseman is what everyone knows me by professionally. I didn't keep my surname for feminist reasons, purely practical reasons. Luckily
my wonderful husband is a practical chappy himself and he never asked that I change my surname to his - too busy on his own stuff and more important things in life to worry about. But if he had felt that it was important to him to change my name, I would have
changed it. I would still change it now if he has an epiphany one day and decides after ten years of marriage that this is something that really matters to him. I would do this purely out of respect and love for him and not because of any kind of sense of
marital duty! As you can tell, I am not too attached to surnames (unless it was something really awful - my husband has a nice surname). Whilst I have strong views about the advancement of women, women having a seat at the table etc I believe that what surname
you decide to go with is a matter of personal choice and that there is a role for tradition if that is what you like. Of course, some women feel a pressure to change their surname when they don't want to - all I can do is share my experience. I am lucky that
I have never had an issue or challenge (that I am aware of) regarding my choice to keep my first married name whilst being married to hubby number 2. People see that we are comfortable with it and happy and it really does not concern me what people think of
it other than hubby. Notwithstanding that the decision to retain married surname number 1 was primarily driven from practicality, I do like the fact that I have retained something "tangible" from marriage number 1 as a way of honouring the man with whom I
shared twelve years of my adult life.
his father's surname; if it was a girl she would take mine. It was a boy - so he has his father's surname, and my surname as a middle name. Like I said, just curious.
(and before the divorce!) he went nuts - claiming he thought I meant I'd take his name as well as... so to keep the peace I hyphernated. It made it somewhat easier to drop his name off and just get back to mine after the divorce - but with very different circumstances
to yours, it still irks me that my early degree and professional qualifications were in that name... oh well, c'est la vie...
My partner would like our children to have my surname, he feels awkward about the usual approach of them taking his surname purely because it's tradition. I don't mind them taking his surname, they have to have one so his is as good as any. I don't mind having
a different surname to my children (some women have suggested that's a good enough reason to get married and change my name.) I think regardless of the surname our children will be smart enough to work out who their parents are. I never realised how much of
an issue it was until now, people are naturally referring to my partner as my husband because I'm pregnant, and I'm constantly being asked about surnames.
fact that I wouldn't dream of going back to my maiden name. Now wedding discussions are happening with new man and I have been stuck in the dilemma of what to do. I have decided to go with another change... though it has been a big decision. I was concerned
about my brand that I had built based on my name however the reason for my decision is that I think it will be a good energy shift... base my name around love and not anger & resentment plus it's a good excuse to contact all my customers once the change occurs
:) Stay tuned for the re-brand!!
well known, so I was pleased to be able to forge my own path; 3. Coming from divorced parents, I was keen to have a symbolic sense of family to reflect the actual family we were creating. I think people are very keen to reinforce conformity to social norms.
In the end, though, it should be no one's business but your own. My mum always had a different name to me and it never occurred to me that it should be an issue. It didn't make her any less my mum! Ultimately, there are just more important issues in the world.
We need to stop trying to control women and focus on the stuff that matters!
they eventually got married (quite recently) and as they weren't married when they had their kids (and I think never expected that they would marry) they decided that they preferred a completely neutral surname to either one of their own... so that's what
they did!